Where you Working

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”

“You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist.

“I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”

The man below says, “You must work in Management.”

“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

NASA Space Pen

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Million to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Hi-Tech Chat‏

Husband: Hi Dear, I am logged in.

Wife: Would you like to have some snacks?
Husband: Hard disk full.

Wife: Have you brought the stuff which i asked for?
Husband: Bad command or file name.

Wife: But I told you about it in the morning!
Husband: Syntax error, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife: Oh my God! Forget it, where’s your salary?
Husband: File in use, read only. try after some time.

Wife: At least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing violation, access denied.

Wife: I made a mistake in marrying you!
Husband: Data type mismatch.

Wife: You are useless!
Husband: By default.

Wife: Who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband: System unstable. Press ctrl, alt, del to reboot.

Wife: What is my value in your life?
Husband: Unknown virus detected.

Wife: Do you love me or your computer?!
Husband: Too many parameters.

Wife: I will go to my dad’s house!
Husband: Program performed illegal operation, it will close.

Wife: I will leave you forever!
Husband: Close all programs and log out for another user.

Wife: It’s worthless talking to you!
Husband: Shut down the computer.

Wife: I am going!!!
Husband: It is now safe to turn off your computer.

Fly in a Coffee

If A Fly Falls In A Cup Of Coffee:

1. Englishman: Throws his cup away and walks out

2. American: Takes the insect out and drinks the coffee

3. Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the coffee away

4. Japanese: Drinks the coffee with insect as it is coming free

5. Palestinian: Sells the coffee to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets new cup of coffee.

6. Israeli: Accuse the Palestinian for throwing insect into his coffee. Relates the issue to violence. Asks the American for Military aid. Takes loan from America to buy one more cup of coffee.

The world's longest marriage

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